April 2009
24 posts
3 tags
No shred.
I haven’t shredded since last Friday. Saturday I didn’t get enough sleep and chose to rest. Sunday it was hot outside and I mowed the lawn and cleaned up the yard, so I got some sort of physical activity in before hitting the hay. Monday was a wash. Tuesday I woke up sick and am currently fighting this sickness. I think I just now got a fever while sitting at work, I hope that I do,...
3 tags
when I was a kid...
January 26, 2005 - 2:49 a.m.
Dear Texas,
I’ve never seen you. I haven’t met you or spent one day in your presence.
Then how can I miss you?
Who are you and why do I think that I need you? You’re nothing to me…
And everything all at the same time.
Wait for me. Please. Wait for me and one day, I swear it, I’ll come to visit you. Somehow I’ll find the nerve...
1 tag
The sabotage stops here.
I have beet juice stains on my shirt. Judah ate the chocolate cakes I made with the beets that I boiled—which is how I stained my shirt…the stuff gets everywhere. And I don’t even like beets but in an attempt to eat healthier, I wanted to put them in a chocolate cake. Make sense? Even more annoying is that I ran out of sugar so I had to use my organic (read: EXPENSIVE) agave...
1 tag
The world carries on without you.
Vampire: Used cars--
Me: Is [S.] available?
Vampire: Oh, hey, what's up?
Me: I didn't realize it was you--you're alive!
Vampire: What?
Me: I've been trying to get a hold of you for a few days--
Vampire: You never left a message or sent me an email.
Me: I was just worried. I called but you never answered. I thought you were dead.
Vampire: What! No. People like me don't die! Trust me, I've been trying for years. Besides, you would know if something happened to me--you have that intuition.
Me: Which is why I thought you were dead. Something feels wrong. So everything is okay?
Vampire: Sure, everything's fine. Nothing's wrong. I just work all the time. I'm always here. I did miss a spot check the other night though but it's not a big deal.
Me: Okay...I just had a weird feeling...but now I know you're alive.
Vampire: Yeah, I am. Look, call me back later.
Me: Bye!
2 tags
We'll get Chinese.
A coworker ordered Chinese. It’s been at least three months since I ordered the lunch special involving shrimp fried rice, fried shrimp and crab rangoon. CRAB RANGOON. My heart aches at the thought of this not being in my BELLY RIGHT NOW. Instead I noshed on Kashi cereal and patted myself on the back because yesterday I walked 2.5 miles and I shredded this morning. I can smell the Chinese...
2 tags
Like it. Love it. Need it.
I am so effing sick of working out.
I want to be the girl that never has to work out or watch a single thing that she puts in her mouth but never tips the scale over 120 pounds and can fit into clothes she wore as a kid.
I am so sick of the mixed signals. Eat, don’t eat, workout, don’t workout. Cardio is essential, cardio is a waste of time. Don’t eat carbs, eat carbs....
1 tag
Zombie.
Today it’s raining and dreary out. Yesterday it didn’t rain until the evening but it was overcast. I think I may have gotten a bit of a tan since I spent almost three hours outside with the dogs. It was my first Saturday off since last April and I spent it much the way I wanted to—half in bed, the other half on an intense 8 mile walk with the dogs. EIGHT FRIGGIN’ MILES.
I...
4 tags
2 tags
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All I ever wanted, all I ever needed.
Yesterday it would have been impossible to do another round of 30 Day Shred. Honestly—I have never felt pain quite like that before. I must’ve taken three or four doses of pain meds without it doing a lick of good.
I got home around 7:30 and the sun was setting. My entire body felt like it had gotten in a fight with a 900 pound gorilla. BUT! I persevered.
Being partially insane...
3 tags
Even my boobs hurt.
At the time I was doing Level 1 of 30 Day Shred I was thinking, “Wow, I can’t breathe. Sweat is pouring down my face. I’m going to die!”
Little did I know that this morning I would wake up barely able to move. My shoulder sockets hurt. My BOOBS hurt. My hip muscle—which I do not even know the name for (tensor fascia lata??)—is wound tighter than a …...
3 tags
Fighting.
I can’t help but guffaw when I see a trailer for the movie “Fighting”. Who got paid for coming up with that title? They weren’t even trying. But odds are I will try to scrounge up to the money to see it because sweaty man titties, Channing Tatum, and the promise of violence + stupid romance is appealing to me. I have simple tastes.
This morning I woke up at 8:45 but laid...
4 tags
To live and forget you.
“You’re losing weight.”
Taken aback by the unexpected statement, I gave Kathy a quizzical look and she repeated herself. I thanked her and said I hope so, since I’ve been working out and dieting the last month. She said it shows. It was something I really needed to hear today. I’m not doing so well. Along with the euphoria that comes when I drive out to see him is...
I don’t think there’s anything more discouraging than working out and eating right and not losing a single pound.
1 month + 3 miles = new me.
I used to measure my walks with the dogs in minutes. Oh I walked for 45 minutes—and barely managed to walk around three or four blocks. Other dogs, traffic, the pack pulling and stopping and being jerks. Now I find myself basing my walks based on distance, not time.
Yesterday was hectic. I got up late, I was at work until 6:30, I had to drop off money at my boss’s house, which added...
What? Okay. Thanks.
Boy: How old are you?
Me: Twenty-two.
Boy: You're almost a man!!
4 tags
Listen
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You have to be kidding me.
Despite the fact that I work out every day in one form or another and I’ve really been working on my abs, I still think of myself as that fat slob who couldn’t do a situp if her life depended on it. I watched some mini workout videos on Hulu to get some ideas on working on my back and my abs this time on the floor (otherwise I was doing them standing up). The one move was this...
3 tags
all the pretty faces
That’s me, August 2007.
I was at a carnival where I didn’t go on any rides except the Tilt-A-Whirl and watched my sister and brother-in-law go on the rollercoasters and various other death-defying contraptions that make my stomach turn…not only because I am not much of a thrillseeker by nature, but also because when you weigh over 300 pounds there isn’t much room for you...
you racist son of a...
I love reading the comments the videos get on CollegeHumor...sometimes funnier than the actual videos. And this had be guffawing out loud (GoL?)
Hallmark: I enjoy that they found some random black lady to do the cornrows.
keith: She works there, you racist son of a bitch
Chris from UVA Wise: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF SHE WORKS THERE!....she's still black thus born with the ability to cornrow hair.
Akshay: Non-white people work at CollegeHumor?