The sabotage stops here.

I have beet juice stains on my shirt. Judah ate the chocolate cakes I made with the beets that I boiled—which is how I stained my shirt…the stuff gets everywhere. And I don’t even like beets but in an attempt to eat healthier, I wanted to put them in a chocolate cake. Make sense? Even more annoying is that I ran out of sugar so I had to use my organic (read: EXPENSIVE) agave nectar to sweeten it. I never even got a taste. I was so mad I threw the dog into the kennel and screamed at her. I was stressed to the limit, I needed a cigarette or something, anything, because I was freaking out about the vampire and then to have Judah do that was the last straw. I locked her in my room and screamed at the closed door, “I FUCKING HATE YOU! I WANT TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!” Sounds healthy, no?
I got over it, I opened the door and she was laying on the floor avoiding eye contact, tail barely wagging. I asked her calmly if she was going to apologize. At least being Judah she didn’t shit all over my house. As far as I know she didn’t have any stomach troubles. I totally tricked her into eating liver and gizzards today!! I was all “Oh, look, here’s the bowl the chicken was in, I left some pieces in it for you, enjoy” while she was crunching down on half the chicken I gave her. I walked away and caught out of the corner of my eye when she ate the liver and gizzards. I pointed like the evil monkey in Chris’ closet on Family Guy and said, “HAHA!” at her. She gave me a look but I don’t think she knew why I was so gleeful.

I have made several vegetable soups the last few days, using up produce I bought, freezing whatever I didn’t cook.

I cannot believe it’s almost May. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for almost two months. I can’t believe it’s only been TWO MONTHS. It feels like forever. I will survive?

Except I haven’t shredded since Friday and the only kind of exercise I got this weekend was cleaning up the yard and mowing the lawn…which was pretty good considering the size of my property. I woke up sick this morning but I’m already doing better. Water, orange juice, fruit, my veggie soups and plenty of sleep tonight (and a multivitamin for good measure) will chase it away. Not to mention the hour I’m about to do on the Gazelle—really the only kind of physical activity my sick-sore body can handle right now.

Sometime this last week or whenever I crossed the one year mark of living on my own. What a rollercoaster. I lost so much. Innocence, a dog, my sanity, my desire to ever get married or even have a boyfriend or date. I can’t imagine dealing with that paltry bullshit when I live on my own and have my own problems to deal with.

I have grand, slutty, debauched plans for my birthday weekend. So from now on, with a little more than a month to go, I am not cheating AT ALL from my diet and exercise, I’ll shred in the morning and evening, once with weights and once without, if the weather decides to cooperate there will also be walks with the dogs on top of that, and eating as I have been except the crap I eat on the weekends. I avoid processed, I eat mostly homecooked, healthy, mostly grains and veggies, I need to eat more meat though. Because it all leads up to my lascivious machinations for my birthday…including, but not limited to:

Until then I will watch everything I put in my mouth (mhmm, go ahead, GO THERE, I already did) and I will work out like there’s no tomorrow. June 5th…I’ve got my eye on you.

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