It’s too dull to pause.
To put meaning in one’s life may end in madness, But life without meaning is the torture Of restlessness and vague desire— It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid. — Edgar Lee Masters
I toured around the newly remodeled Wal-Mart on 41 this afternoon, admiring the redesign. I wanted to buy an exercise ball but lamented at the cost. Until I saw that the cheapest one was half the price—only $5. How could I not get it? I’m currently sitting on it and working my CORE.
I remember my little sister asking me what the heck the core was after seeing so many infomercials talking about how you needed to STRENGTHEN YOUR CORE. I laughed and said it was basically your stomach muscles.
I’ve worked out every day since Sunday night. I refuse to take a break, sometimes I work out in the morning, the afternoon and evening, sometimes just the morning, sometimes just at night. I mix it up. I had no idea that the Gazelle burned so many calories—I used to get on that thing every night for a good forty minutes to an hour while I watched a show on DVD or on hulu. So back on the Gazelle I go, along with some mat work though that’s rather hard with three dogs obsessed with you and wanting to kiss you and sit on you while you’re going sit-ups. And then they get all offended when you yell at them (after telling them ten times to LEAVE YOU ALONE) and they go up on the couch and sulk. Whatever.
Eating better is going well, too. I don’t count calories but I’ve been enjoying nonfat smoothies I make myself with frozen fruit and fresh spinach. Otherwise I hate spinach. I have some salad left but other than that I’m low on actual food, so it’s time I did some meal planning. Really I only need to make one dinner a week or so because it’s just me and I’m cool with leftovers.
The only “bad” part of working out every day (first couple days I was so sore just from not doing much except taking walks during the summer) is that it makes me so hungry!!! I hate that part. Because then you want to eat everything but you know you can’t.
I’m hesitant to set goals as it’s always disappointing to not meet them, so I’ll just say that I want to keep working out every day and eat better and whatever happens happens. There’s no way that doing those things will result in anything but changing how I look and feel. I forgot how amazing it feels to work out muscles and a couple days later doing the same move and having so much more control over it. Really, it’s empowering.
Tomorrow I plan on getting up early (which is any time before noon and by God I’d better get to sleep before four am tonight or I’ll punch myself. it’s been this way for a few weeks now.) and cleaning the house…I did some cleaning last night and that felt good but of course cleaning always leads to more clutter somehow. Shifting things around, sorting things, etc. I need to throw more out. I just don’t need it. Pretty soon my house will be empty. Too bad I can’t sell it right now or fix it up…just sort of stuck in this shit hole AS USUAL.
I still want to move to Texas. We’ll see what next year brings.
