Cured.
It’s really very strange and surreal.
I saw a picture of him earlier…my favorite picture…and it was as if I was looking at the face of a stranger. There wasn’t a twinge, a pull, or an inkling. No memories, no sighs rife with longing, not a hint of lovelorn sadness was kindled.
I had to listen to the voicemail he left me to get to another voicemail I had saved—I had a bemused smile on my face at the sound of his voice but it didn’t make me shiver or tremble as it used to. I pressed 7 halfway through the message without hesitation, deleting it forever.
He’s not even interesting enough anymore to use his moniker. Now it’s “him” and “he” and “his”—
Forever banished into vague feelings and emotions trapped in the past.
The only thing I feel deeply about regarding … that, us, him, me … is the regret for what I did and profound relief for what I didn’t!
Everyone told me from the beginning he was no good, a liar, a cheat. I knew that better than anyone. I was just in such a hurry to feel love and to be loved that it didn’t matter what warnings or omens were thrown at me. I wanted what I wanted…no one could tell me otherwise.
I think the lesson has been learned.
I let myself get burned so badly I’m not sure if I’ll ever want to trust again if the opportunity presented itself. It’s doubtful that it will, but just in case…
Being a spinster [crazy dog lady] is just fine with me.
