remembering (via This Year’s Love)

a picture of Shifra that I didn’t make private. (most of the photos tagged of her are private and have been for a year.)

it’s one of my favorite pictures, taken in the spring of 2008 on a warm day in the backyard. there was something about this spot in the grass the dogs couldn’t get enough of and all the would do was lay on their backs and roll around in the soft grass sighing contentedly.

this is how I remember Shifra—which makes it so hard to believe she’s not still here. I know I had to give her up for all of the right reasons—for all of us, including her, but it’s almost impossible to believe it when I remember that except for a few brief, violent moments this was how the were together. all of them.
I miss it.
I miss her.
over a year later and I’m still not over the loss of Shifra. I still feel faint when I hear a dog fight and it took *so* long to get the memories buried deep enough that I didn’t hear it anytime there was a moment of silence, didn’t see it when I wasn’t distracted by something else.

all that’s left is the memories, the 1000 great, happy, sweet ones that couldn’t get us past the 2 horrifying ones.

I really wish it could have been possible to go see her after she was adopted…
I have a strong feeling she would remember me.

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