so many catalysts in one letter!
I know I won’t have the nerve to send this to you, but I want to write it anyway.
It’s taken me this long because I know it would just make you mad and I don’t want to make you mad.
I saw Errol when I was in the hospital that first time a couple years ago. He was there for the same reason as me. Small world, don’t you think?
He didn’t recognize me at first and then someone said my last name and he wouldn’t stop staring at me after that.
He talked to me when our group meeting was over and he asked me how you were doing. He said he was sad that you two stopped talking completely.
I know you told me he’s the best liar you’ve ever met, but he wasn’t lying when he told me how much he missed you.
I still wonder what happened to him after that—he looked pale and sick. The staff didn’t like him much, he was a trouble maker for sure. But all the girls tripped over themselves to get his attention.
They hated that he would talk to me for a couple minutes whenever we happened to bump into each other. That only lasted for the week that I stayed.
He gave me a piece of paper with a phone number on it that he said to give to you—if I wanted to. I lost the paper on purpose I think.
But he made me promise to tell you that he said hi….and I’ve felt terrible guilt for never mentioning it until now in this letter, which isn’t even close to telling you in person.
Maybe you’ll find this notebook one day if it doesn’t get lost or thrown out and you’ll find out for yourself. I can pretend that I half-fulfilled that promise.
I know you told me why you two never got together, but it still seems sad to think that you’d probably have children of your own and I think that you two would’ve been happy together.
I don’t think you could really see the way he would look at you. I can only dream of finding that for myself!
Oh, and another thing he mentioned and I totally agree with him. You should open your own bakery! I know you didn’t go to school to bake or cook, but you’re just SO good at it!
He kept bragging about how you would make him cookies and pie and cake and all sorts of good stuff when you two were together. He said you had to open a bakery or it would be a total waste of your talent. He was so right, Ruby.
Maybe I’ll bring it up in person but then I might accidentally tell you that I saw him…
This letter is long enough especially since you’ll never read it! Love you lots, sister.
Love, Olivia
P.S. Name the bakery after me and I’ll work for free for the rest of my life!
